Thursday, May 01, 2008

"I have a culinary BONER right now."

Yea, I laughed when I heard that too. The last words spoken on last nights Top Chef was that crack-head Andrew (below) apparently responding to the upcoming challenge. Hehe, I about PISSED myself!

By the way, is she (below) not the HOTTEST judge on Top Chef? Sorry Padma, TOO SKINNY!!!

So, it was "last lesbo standing" on this recent episode of Top Chef. The most miserable dike in TV history is, surprisingly, still there.



The drunken, coked out New Zealander was asked to "pack his knives and leave". He was way over due and should have gone home about 2 eps ago. Not only did he look crocked all the time, but was a shameful member of our profession. He couldn't season worth a shit, was messy as balls when he cooked and didn't seem to take the fact that he MADE IT TO TOP CHEF seriously. He fucked around too damn much and it wasn't called for. Any who, I digress. I guess I'm just jealous and annoyed that he didn't seem to bring his "A" game. I mean, look at his SHOES! (fag)


Since I blogged last, we, "sadly" lost the "couple", Ryan, Eric and a couple other burger flippers.

You know, Im not one to judge (chuckle), but wouldn't it be a good idea to completely BRING IT when you compete on one of the best shows in the land? These dudes that we sent home just flopped around, drooling a little while the others blazed around them like psychos. Eh...

They had a cool quick-fire challenge with Uncle Bens 90 second rice packs. I thought that was a true test of skill. They only had 15 minutes to make a dish man! Sweet stuff. Most did well, others did...well..SHITTY, but whatever. A few of those dumb dumbs didn't seem to know how to cook something in a microwave for 90 seconds, which I thought was a big act for the TV, but what do I know, lol.

So, on a brighter note, their elimination challenge on last nights episode was to make a meal for four that was kid friendly, easy to prepare and under 10 bucks! What a sweet challenge! Its so easy to do well when you have a few hundred bucks and all those bad ass GE stoves, but if you only have 10 bucks AND you have to do this while teamed up with a kid, THATS a real challenge.

Unfortunately, besides Iron Chef America, Top Chef is the only thing for the chef thats worth a damn on TV these days. All those other dumbed down hollywood bullshit shows have me hot under the collar and should be removed, replaced by stuff the chef enjoys. What about a night on the line during mothers day dinner? Or, a wedding catering for 2500 people and a bunch of 7 dollar an hour temps waiting the tables. Even better, what about the ass holes that host the other shows battling head to head in an un-air conditioned soup kitchen with NO SIDE TOWELS and dull knives. The loser gets to be a guest on the Rachael Ray show! HAH!!! I'd pay MONEY to see Ramsey watching 'Rays teeth sparkle, spitting out droplets of EVOO while screaming YUM-O to his face, LOL!!!!

ok, Im done, I just love writing this shit. :)