Sunday, May 04, 2008

A Night at the Tractor Pulls...non food related

Yes, another non food related blog, but this might be worth it!

I think that the longer I'm married to a woman from West Virgina, the more red-neck I've become. I find myself attracted to interesting sporting events involving mega-horse powered vehicles. First it was Nascar, then it was dirt track racing, and now TRACTOR PULLS! Shit, whats next, tobacco spitting contests?

The wifey had mentioned that this was something she wanted to check out. I saw the signs advertising it a few days ago and thought it might be fun (huh? I did?!). So, next thing I know I'm sitting on another set of uncomfortable aluminum bleachers with the love of my life watching trucks with over 2500 horsepower attempt to pull heavy stuff 300 feet!

Yes, it was loud, loudest thing Ive ever been to, It actually may have been louder than Iron Maiden at the Worcester Centrum back in '91!

Anyway, there were three classes; 2500 HP two wheel drive mid-sized pickup trucks, 1800 HP diesel tractors affectionately called "smokers" for the billows of black smoke they produce and, lastly and my favorite, the 1800 HP full sized modified four wheel drive pickup trucks. Each class had to pull a couple tons and a "sled" the closest to 300 feet or more as that they could. Total weight, about 38000 pounds!

If you didn't have ear plugs, you were screwed. The exhaust smoke was indescribably thick. We couldn't help but breath it! You could actually taste it in the air! But, BOY WAS THAT FUN!!!

Any who, check out these pics and videos, see what you think...

Thursday, May 01, 2008

"I have a culinary BONER right now."

Yea, I laughed when I heard that too. The last words spoken on last nights Top Chef was that crack-head Andrew (below) apparently responding to the upcoming challenge. Hehe, I about PISSED myself!

By the way, is she (below) not the HOTTEST judge on Top Chef? Sorry Padma, TOO SKINNY!!!

So, it was "last lesbo standing" on this recent episode of Top Chef. The most miserable dike in TV history is, surprisingly, still there.

The drunken, coked out New Zealander was asked to "pack his knives and leave". He was way over due and should have gone home about 2 eps ago. Not only did he look crocked all the time, but was a shameful member of our profession. He couldn't season worth a shit, was messy as balls when he cooked and didn't seem to take the fact that he MADE IT TO TOP CHEF seriously. He fucked around too damn much and it wasn't called for. Any who, I digress. I guess I'm just jealous and annoyed that he didn't seem to bring his "A" game. I mean, look at his SHOES! (fag)

Since I blogged last, we, "sadly" lost the "couple", Ryan, Eric and a couple other burger flippers.

You know, Im not one to judge (chuckle), but wouldn't it be a good idea to completely BRING IT when you compete on one of the best shows in the land? These dudes that we sent home just flopped around, drooling a little while the others blazed around them like psychos. Eh...

They had a cool quick-fire challenge with Uncle Bens 90 second rice packs. I thought that was a true test of skill. They only had 15 minutes to make a dish man! Sweet stuff. Most did well, others did...well..SHITTY, but whatever. A few of those dumb dumbs didn't seem to know how to cook something in a microwave for 90 seconds, which I thought was a big act for the TV, but what do I know, lol.

So, on a brighter note, their elimination challenge on last nights episode was to make a meal for four that was kid friendly, easy to prepare and under 10 bucks! What a sweet challenge! Its so easy to do well when you have a few hundred bucks and all those bad ass GE stoves, but if you only have 10 bucks AND you have to do this while teamed up with a kid, THATS a real challenge.

Unfortunately, besides Iron Chef America, Top Chef is the only thing for the chef thats worth a damn on TV these days. All those other dumbed down hollywood bullshit shows have me hot under the collar and should be removed, replaced by stuff the chef enjoys. What about a night on the line during mothers day dinner? Or, a wedding catering for 2500 people and a bunch of 7 dollar an hour temps waiting the tables. Even better, what about the ass holes that host the other shows battling head to head in an un-air conditioned soup kitchen with NO SIDE TOWELS and dull knives. The loser gets to be a guest on the Rachael Ray show! HAH!!! I'd pay MONEY to see Ramsey watching 'Rays teeth sparkle, spitting out droplets of EVOO while screaming YUM-O to his face, LOL!!!!

ok, Im done, I just love writing this shit. :)