I'd like to back up a little for a minute and whine about my horrible hotel first. I got on the web and googled "hotels near the Myrtle Beach Convention Center" and The Boardwalk Beach Resort came up on one of the travelocity web sites. First of all, it was ON the ocean and cost under 80 bucks a night, which should have been a red flag. Second, its about as much a "resort" as the single wide trailer my neighbors live in. I asked for a non-smoking room and they put me in one that kinda smelled like my old bachelor pad first thing in the morning after a really rough night. The elevators smelled like vomit and french fries and the hot water took about 10 minutes to make it up to my shower. The place was rotting around itself in the "kitchen" and the drain was so clogged, the water filled up to mid-shin by the time I finished my cold, eventually scalding, shower. A couple homeless dudes were living in the lobby and doing their laundry in the guests washers, and so on...BUT!!! if you can get past the cigarette smell, butt burns on the furniture and the sticky alarm clock (eww), the room did have a really nice view of the ocean (its saving grace, apparently). This has GOT to be the only reason this shit hole is still open. Partying college kids on spring break could care less about a clogged tub drain or smelly elevator, they just need a place to puke and sleep in.
After further review (I should have done is BEFORE I booked, but live and learn...) Here are a ton of negative reviews I found on their web site.
Anyway, the receptionist was nice, lol...
Back to the competition. After a restful 4 hours sleep in my smelly hotel room, I did stumble upon a God-Send Starbucks a block away from my hotel. I ventured out in the 30 degree/ 40 mph wind gusty streets to grab my hot Venti Bold that gave me hope.
Arriving at the convention center about 30 minutes early gave me time to acclimate myself to my surroundings. I got to meet a couple of my fellow competitors, shake a few hands and enjoy my coffee breakfast.
At 6:45, I set up my station to my specifications. You know, knives in pans on a side towel, my cooking utensils like so, sanitizer buckets filled with a ton of side towels, and so on. Once I got organized, slugged down the last gulp of my coffee, I was in my element. Organization and a slight humming in my head from caffeine always makes me feel sane, lol.
The protein was handed to me at 7:00 am, I wrote my menu which was a bit like this:
Pan-seared red snapper with roasted mushroom risotto, root vegetable medley and basil pistou
I handed that to the floor manager and she rushed it off to the judges and in like 5 minutes, returned with a nice fresh printed version of my menu for my records. At 7:15, I was off!!!
Blink-blink-blink, my one hour flew by and it was time to plate up at 8:15 sharp. 7 minutes later, my hot plates with hot food on them were whisked off to the picky-ass judges that (ok, get ready for another rant... lol)...
I've been to about 10 of these mind numbing events and every time there are different judges and every time they want something different based, mostly, on preference. The fat ones usually complain about not having enough sauce. Doesn't matter what it is. Could be freshly made marinara, chocolate syrup or cough medicine. If the judge weighs more than 300 pounds, he, or she, will ALWAYS complain about not having enough sauce. If the judges are from anywhere near Europe, they will judge you and your food based on "standards" that no one has practiced since the Brady Bunch drove that huge brown station wagon. Mainly because of their lack of practicability or American palate. The EU folks always expect you to have the Escoffier book memorized and if you don't, you suck, end of story. If they're in any branch of the military, or were at one time, they complain about the fact that you can't make 500 of whatever it is you are trying to show off to them. It never fails. Every judge is just that, a judge. Most of them hadn't stood a foot in their own kitchen or held a knife for a living since Nixon but have all the answers, covering them up with acts of mentor-dom (is that a word?). I would pay double the price of a ppv event to watch these old coots compete under the stresses and so-called "competition standards" they put us through. Shit, their damn hips would pop out of joint, most likely.
Wow, tangent, lol, back to the competition. I rant like that, mainly, because I'm still smarting from the crap these dudes complained about this morning. The double standards. I look at the food that they consider gold medal worthy and I think, "Yeah, looks good, but not better than mine!" lol.
I have hope and faith that, one day, I'll have the perfect combination of working clean, hot plates, properly cut veg and the right amount of sauce to appease the masses and WILL get that damn gold medal. I've been chasing that stupid thing for over 10 competitions so far! With entry fees and cost of food and travel, that's a lot of money invested just to hear Mr. Saur Kraut from Belgium whine about how much risotto I should put on my damn plate!
Anyway, I did, however, have a great time (believe it or not). At the end of the day, it's all about the creation of food. If I can learn something along the way and win a medal while I'm at it, its that much better. I just cant wait to finally please these dudes, lol.
Thanks to the program chair person and my apprentice for helping me through all this! Thanks to my employer for shelling out the entire $100.00 for sign up fees all on their own, lol. Thanks to all the free coffee samples (does anyone really like that "coffee on demand stuff?" just curious). Thank you, Father, for getting me there safe through the crazy rain and back home through the even CRAZIER wind (was like a hurricane man!).
There's another competition coming up in April, think I'll pass on that one, I need a break...
Pics-
No comments:
Post a Comment