Fatty Mcfatster (and his lovely wife) at the cholesterol festival

I feel dirty. Yeah, it's true. I feel dirtier than Mike Roe dipped in rabid dog ball pimple puss (too graphic? sorry, lol)

So, every year in our town, the Cabarrus County Fair comes around. In our opinion, its the best in the area and we look forward to going. Of course, being the foodie that I am, I use [any] fair as an excuse to scope out the typical and a-typical snacks that are offered, followed, usually, by the anti-gravity slams of some of the rides.(ever ride the "Tilt-a-wirl" after eating fried dough? Priceless!)

After watching a few in-bred redneck "women" with halter tops eat cotton candy (you should see some of their kids! Reminds me of that monster on "The Goonies" who liked the Baby Ruth candy bar, remember him?), we scoped out the standard food favorites like the infamous Kielbasa Sub with onions and peppers (makes me fart just typing those words). And, the spawn of Satan Foot-Long Corn Dog. After eating those gut-bombs, we hunted for our dessert. Last year, we had our first fried Oreo cookies dusted with powdered sugar. No, I can't tell you how good they were with words, you'll just have to figure it out.

This year, we revisited the site of said fried treats to find that they were now offering every major candy bar on the market dipped in funnel cake batter and deep fried to artery clogging goodness. Yes folks, it's true. You can now get Snickers, 3-Musketeers, Milky Way and a few others battered and deep fried! I've heard about this blasphomy on TV but never could imagine I would be in the presence of such greatness! (Hope my doctor, mom or health insurance agent are not reading this, lol).

Well, we got the Oreos again and I had to try the Snickers Bar. Wow. Simply stated. I mean, Snickers Bars have always caused me great guilty pleasure in the past, but eating it this way was just retarded. It was crispy and light on the outside and warm, gooey and crunchy on the inside. Just insane! The Oreos, yeah, they pretty much rocked too. Its hard to mess up an Oreo no matter how you treat it.

Problem with that meal was just this, I'm getting to old to carry that sort of calerie collection around in my body. I felt like total shit the rest of the night and into the next morning up until I took my morning pooh. (Dont ask, it wasnt pretty). I've learned my lesson and will never eat that stuff again! (chuckle, until next time).